facebook: pet peeves and new rules.

• Parents wishing their kids happy birthday on fb: Nothing more ridiculous than wishing your 3-year-old a happy birthday on fb. Your kid is never going to read your post about your conflicting feeling on seeing him or her grow an year older. New Rule: You can wish your children on fb ONLY if they have their own account AND they are your friend on fb.

• Photos of your vacations: I don't give a shit where you went and what you saw. Please do not clutter my feed with run-of-the-mill snaps of mountains, bridges and your kids by the lake. New rule: Vacation photos will only be allowed if you have something to show that's NEVER been seen before....like a Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster.

• Check-ins via FourSquare: Ok, so you are at Chipotle in Mt. View. Good for you. Now stop cluttering my feed with creepy location information. New rule: you check-in at Chipotle, you buy me a burrito.

• Shut off Spotify notifications: I do not want to know what you have been listening to....infact its a little embarrassing to know just how much you are into Lady Gaga. New rule: If you post a Spotify playlist then you have to post a video of yourself trying to sing one of the songs.

• Re-posting videos/images/jokes: Please do not re-post something that you found on fb. Its already on fb and its going to spread like the plague even without your help. I do not need for you to be nth person in my news feed re-posting the same article about Steve Jobs. New Rule: If you notice others posting the same crap as you then please go ahead and delete your original post. Its the least you can do.

• Commenting on a status update with garbage: Please stop adding to the spam on fb by replying to a post with a "lol", "hahahaha", or a "nice one". Facebook traffic would reduce by huge percentage if you did not add to an useless update with your inane junk. New Rule: This rule is actually an old one...if you have nothing useful to say, then don't say anything at all.

Ode to Rush

I first heard Rush in 1987 when my cousin, who was visiting from America, had a few songs on a mix tape he had brought along. The band's intricate music and bombastic drumming caught my ear and it was the beginning of what would be a journey that has lasted 20 years and still goes on.

Something must be said for a band that has lasted over 35 years with the same three members, never been tabloid fodder, and have kept their feet on the ground in spite of mass adulation. Having been in a band myself, I know how little time it takes for the initial euphoria to disappear only to be replaced by infighting and insidious politics.

Rush is throwback to a time long gone where musicians played their own instruments and wrote their own songs. The band has survived through three decades of change. They have survived disco and pop, grunge and hip-hop. That they have done so with equanimity and grace is a testament to the kind of people they are.

When Neil Peart, the drummer, took time off to deal with a family tragedy and it seemed like he might not come back, finding a replacement was never an option.

We live in times where relationships are fleeting; between people, between employer and employee and between adoring fans and the celebrities they worship. I cringe every time I hear a CEO talk about how his employees are his most important asset just weeks before a major layoff.

Using the life and times of a rock band as a life manual might seem a tad much but you could do a lot worse than using Rush's unique story as a source of inspiration.

For those new to the band, I recommend this well-made documentary released in 2010.
Rush: Beyond the lighted stage

The best thing to come out of Sweden (since ABBA)!

I have been to Ikea a dozen times but never with another man. Its always been with my wife, on missions where she is the pilot and I can best be described as the stewardess: I cannot control where we are going or for how long, my job is to keep the crew happy and serve the meals on time. You can tell where a relationship is by closely observing couples go about their business at an Ikea. There are four basic types:

1. The student-roommates: They are barely out of their teens and can be found examining futons and cheap lamps. They exhibit a joy that comes with new found freedom to make their own decisions without mom and pop.

2. The newly hooked-up couple. Their shopping has an aimless meandering quality to it, the trip as much a date as a quest for furniture. He shows great interest in the fabric on the couch and she wants his opinion on vases and fitted sheets.

3. The newly married couple: He is still by her side but now the blackberry comes out at regular intervals. He has figured out that it is not his opinion but only his approval that is sought. He gives this enthusiastically while glancing admiringly at the only thing that seems interesting: The flat screen TVs displayed in fancy media consoles.

4. The breed to which I belong:. Wife leading the way, pencil and measuring tape in hand, husband lagging behind with a kid in his arms on in a stroller. All pretences have been jettisoned for harsh practicality. Get in, get exactly what you need and get out. Positions get reversed at the warehouse where the Mrs handles the kids while the man of the house struggles with heavy pieces of packaging under the watching eye of Judge Judy.

And so it was a pleasure to visit an Ikea with another man. He wanted some advice on designing a media center and I obliged (after the necessary clearances from the Home Ministry). We discussed the merits of sliding doors over the hinged variety, we huddled over a computer and tried to put together a custom design. We tried out chairs that would be impractical for a home, we checked out executive desks even if our own home offices couldn't hold anything bigger than a coffee table. We even had a few peaceful moments when nobody spoke and it was not because we had fought or did not agree on which shelving to buy!

We spent three peaceful hours at Ikea and I did not hear one complaint when I got home. She felt a certain security in knowing where I was for those three hours, thinking that there was no way I could have had a good time. After all the food court does not serve alcohol and the TVs on display do not show the weekend game. Dancing poles do not magically appear out of the floor with Swedish models gyrating to re-mixed ABBA tunes.

Now all I have to do is convince my friends that this Ikea trick actually works. We can all coordinate our trips there and then hangout. We could use one of the kitchens on display to sit around and catch up. Or we could even bring along our laptops and watch Netflix while we pretend to check out the desks in the office section.

I just might have found the perfect getaway spot! This might become a place of last resort for me. When the going gets tough, the tough make a trip.....to Ikea! Maybe I can convince Tiger Woods to join me......last I heard he had lost faith in all things Swedish!

5 Songs.

Song: The theme to Hawaii Five O:
Year:1977.
I can see the visuals like it was yesterday. The opening scenes of crashing ocean waves set to this amazing instrumental soundtrack that opens with a flurry of drum rolls before the horn section kicks in. I am 7 years old living in Tikrit, Iraq. My father, a pilot with the Indian Air Force is stationed there for 2 years to train Iraqi pilots. We live in this military camp with rows of bungalows that house a mix of Indian and Iraqi families. School is a ragtag outfit located at the end of the street and run by the wives of some of the officers. I make friends with the kids of an Iraqi officer living opposite us, the boy around my age and the girl a few years older. I wait for the weekend when a new episode of Hawaii Five O will air in all its monocromatic glory. A slick detective series with a clean-cut hero that has all the elements of adventure and intrigue a young boy dreams of.
Epilogue: Sometimes I wonder if the prominent drums in that track were responsible for me taking up the instrument years later. Tikrit was bombed to the ground by US forces during the gulf war. Every time I hear that theme song I think of those 2 years in Iraq and I wonder if that Iraqi officer and his family are still around.

Song:Wanna be Startin' Something
Year: 1984.
I am 14 and in boarding school. Weekends are spent at my aunt's house in Pune. My uncle who is a big shot in a local company has just returned from a US trip and brought back an LP that features somebody called Michael Jackson. The LP cover has photo of a young black man laying prone on his side with a tiger cub in his hands. I have never heard music like this before. My cousin and his mix tapes have opened up my narrow music world to now include bands like The Police , Billy Joel and Kraftwerk but nothing could have prepared me for Michael. Every weekend has to have a MJ session: gently place the LP on the player, wait while the hiss from the speakers gives way to the first track on the album.
Epilogue: "Beat It", "Billy Jean" and "Thriller" were all bigger hits but for me it will always be the first song on that LP. Hearing it takes me back to those weekends when I would come home to my aunt's house hungry for real food. My aunt does not live in that house anymore. In fact its been remodelled and looks nothing like what it was.

Song: With or without you
Year: 1988.
I am 18 and living on my own in Pune in my parents' empty apartment while they live in the Middle East. The effects of adolescence are in full effect and I find myself spending a lot of time with new friends who, to put it mildly, are not too academically inclined. A lot of time is spend hanging at my apartment listening to U2's new album and in particular the third song, "With Or Without You". A haunting melody that seems to address all the issues 18 year olds have to deal with. My new friends are all into music as much as I am and we dream of forming a band and touring the world. I buy a pair of drumsticks and start practicing.
Epilogue: Stardom eluded us all but that song never fails to take me back to the year when I met some my closest friends. I learned more about life in that one year of living alone than ever before.

Song: Got A Match
Year: 1997
I have been married for 2 years. I have a job. The rebel in me has been silenced for a while now, defeated by the harsh reality that I cannot make a living playing the drums. My wife, a junior lecturer in my college, has shepherded me through the last few years of school knowing that the only way we could get married was if I got a real job. I now play in a band called Crayon that consists of other working professional and we decide to make a foray into more "serious" music. I have been listening to jazz for a few years now and I think I am good enough to play what I hear until the band decides to attempt a Chick Corea track called "Got A Match". Boy, am I glad I got a real education! I cannot fathom a single note and suddenly realize that there is a whole category of drumming out there that I know nothing about. This new music opens up my ears to a whole new world of drumming.
Epilogue: I did not know then but the drummer I heard on that track was Dave Weckl, considered by many to be one of the greatest drummers of the last 30 years. When I landed in America in 2000 the first concert I saw was Dave Weckl with his band. It was as close to a religious experience that a non-believer can have.

Song: Love Story
Year :2009:
Taylor Swift is ruling the airways and the Grammies with her hit song "Love Story". It sounds just like ten other songs on the radio that are being pushed down my throat by an industry that manufactures music stars to target a specific demographic. Try telling that to my 9 year old daughter. She and her friends have decided that Love Story is their official anthem. When will these kids discover "real" music? I can see that she enjoys music at a deeper level than the casual listener. She recognises voices and can tell who the artist is even if she is hearing a song for the first time. Now if I can only show her that there is another world of music waiting for her if she steps off the beaten path.
Epilogue:Took me a while before I realised that I cannot be the arbiter of good taste for my kids. They will find their own way. And just like I have my 5 songs, they will have theirs.

More than just a game.

What makes a particular sport great? What makes one sport better than another? Living in America and being a soccer fan is not the easiest thing. To start off, I cannot refer to the sport as Football because that would confuse the locals to assume that I am referring to American Football ( Helmets, padded clothes and an oblong ball). Then there are the inevitable comparisons with American sports like baseball, basketball and American Football. I have sat through many a discussion where I have been informed that watching a sport where nothing seems to be happening for long periods of time, with the final result being a tie, does not make for interesting viewing.

Fans of different sports can argue for hours on the virtues of their chosen sport and it is a little pointless trying to convert a die-hard Yankees fan to understand the fluid beauty of soccer. Each game has its nuances that can only be understood after being a fan for a certain length of time. Having said that, there is a reason why only soccer can claim to be a real global sport. It's the only sport that has been played between nations all over the world. Baseball, Cricket, Golf, Tennis.....take your pick. None of these sports have a history of international competition that have involved more than a handful of countries. Every great sport has a human angle, a back story, a sub-plot which makes the actual game being played a lot more that just a contest between two teams. The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry goes back a long way and that's what makes the games between these two teams a lot more interesting that the others. Now imagine a sub-plot that involves two nations!! This history of international competition allows fans from around the world to be part of a shared experience.

Argentina met England in a World Cup quarter final match during the '86 world cup. For the uninitiated this would looked like any other match but it was far from that. Just 4 years earlier the two countries had gone to war over the Falkland Islands and the match was an opportunity for Argentina to collectively reclaim their dignity.

In 1966 England met Germany in a world cup final. It had been just 20 years since WWII had ended and as you can imagine this was more than just another soccer match.
Perpetually feuding nations in Africa clash on the soccer field ever so often and it is a known fact that rebel forces declare an unofficial cease fire during these matches.

In the 2002 world cup Senegal ( a former french colony) beat France to finally step out of the shadows of its colonizer.

A sport is nothing without its history and no sport has a richer history than soccer. In a way I am glad that America does not "get" soccer. I like the fact that there is still a sport in the world that has not been re-imagined and tinkered with so that it can look better on TV. I am glad that soccer does not have 50 time-outs to accommodate commercial breaks. For soccer to become big in America it will have to change. It will have to morph into something else that can be packaged and sold to a public that is used to walking out between innings to buy a hot dog.

So with the world cup just round the corner, I love the fact that this "little" sporting event is flying below the radar in America. I do not want to expend any more energy trying to explain the game or it's worldwide appeal to a Raiders fan on his way to a tailgate party.

You live in your world and I will live in mine.

Recycle or die!

Green is in. Recycle. Upcycle. Carbon footprint, Eco-friendly....words that you better have integrated into your lexicon if not your lifestyle. There is no faster way to get shunned by your friends and colleagues than by making the grave mistake of dumping a Coke can into the non-recycle bin. Do you clean your plastic material before you put it in the bin? Do you separate newsprint from other printed material? Do you place used batteries in a Ziploc? What about understanding the number code printed inside a triangle on all plastic products?

The pressure to understand your garbage has never been greater. Something does not seem right here. Sure I understand the rationale behind sorting my garbage but is this really making a difference? What's the cost of recycling a piece of garbage over making it from scratch? I understand that recycling is good for the earth and all that but if the earth's future depends on people like me knowing if Styrofoam should be in the recycle bin or not then we have a problem.

I think the green movement has been great for raising awareness about the cost of manufacturing and the damage it can do to the environment but I think the pressure to go green should be borne by the manufacturing industry and not the consumer. Would it not be great if every product came in a bio-degradable package? Why are consumers like me and you shouldering the guilt of polluting the earth when its the products we use that need to change. I see people seeking out "green" products because they want to do their bit for the environment. Good for them but what about folks who cannot afford the more expensive "green" option? "Green" has become a buzz word, a gimmick. Every company out there is trying to attach a "green" label to their product. It's all a little suspicious when your local gas station claims to have gone green!

Don't get me wrong. I care about the planet as much as anybody out there. I just hope that the earth's future is not dependant on me buying a hybrid or or meticulously sorting my garbage. I do not claim to understand every nuance of the green revolution. What I do know is that this battle is about money. The big industries need to change their ways. But doing so costs them money (and in turn costs us, the consumer, money). The motivation to change will have to come by way of government incentives /arm twisting. No amount of shoppers using paper bags is going to help if the real problem is not fixed.

I ain't done just yet!

Recently I visited the training grounds of the soccer club I used to play for in India. I was hoping to find some of the old crew and catch up on old times. Maybe even play a little. Instead I was greeted by a whole bunch of young 20-somethings who did not know me and proceeded to address me as "Uncle".

They say 50 is the new 30. Should that not make 40 the new 20? Try telling that to those young boys that evening. All they saw was a balding, greying old man in soccer shoes that nobody wanted on their team. The thing is I do not feel 40. Well, not mentally anyway. My 3 knee surgeries are a constant reminder that my body is aging way faster than my mind.

I notice that age is viewed differently in India. There age means respect. Age means experience. Age means wisdom. Its very unlikely that a younger person will get promoted ahead of a senior person who has been with the company longer. The oldest person in the family is often looked to for advice. Older sibling are viewed and judged differently to their younger counterparts. Even the dog-eat-dog world of Bollywood does not forget to respect its seniors. Ever notice how the young Bollywood starlet will refer to her much older co-star as "Amit Sir" or "Ameer Ji"?

The thing with getting old is not how you perceive yourself but how others perceive you. Being called "Uncle" is the least of my worries. What if I am viewed as too old for my next job? What if my younger friends suddenly think that I am too old for their cards and drinking sessions? It suddenly makes sense why I see so many older guys with hot younger women. Sure they might have the money but there must be no better affirmation of one's youth than being with a younger women!

Age is hardly a factor in the software business in the USA. Here its a case of "You are old enough if you are good enough". I think that is partly due to the nature of a business that thrives on innovation. The simple fact is that new ideas come from young people. All the greatest minds of the last 200 years did their greatest work by the time they were 25 years old. Crap! Its been a while since I crossed that milestone!

There is a whole industry out there that is trying to profit on my insecurities. Health clubs advertise programs to bring back a body that's gone forever and hair products promise a quick fix for my follicle foibles. Alas, none of that will change the fact that I am not a spring chicken anymore.

I heard great news recently: The 80s are making a comeback! Finally, my wardrobe will be relevant once again. So will my taste in music........now if only I can find that old Duran Duran T-shirt.