facebook: pet peeves and new rules.

• Parents wishing their kids happy birthday on fb: Nothing more ridiculous than wishing your 3-year-old a happy birthday on fb. Your kid is never going to read your post about your conflicting feeling on seeing him or her grow an year older. New Rule: You can wish your children on fb ONLY if they have their own account AND they are your friend on fb.

• Photos of your vacations: I don't give a shit where you went and what you saw. Please do not clutter my feed with run-of-the-mill snaps of mountains, bridges and your kids by the lake. New rule: Vacation photos will only be allowed if you have something to show that's NEVER been seen before....like a Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster.

• Check-ins via FourSquare: Ok, so you are at Chipotle in Mt. View. Good for you. Now stop cluttering my feed with creepy location information. New rule: you check-in at Chipotle, you buy me a burrito.

• Shut off Spotify notifications: I do not want to know what you have been listening to....infact its a little embarrassing to know just how much you are into Lady Gaga. New rule: If you post a Spotify playlist then you have to post a video of yourself trying to sing one of the songs.

• Re-posting videos/images/jokes: Please do not re-post something that you found on fb. Its already on fb and its going to spread like the plague even without your help. I do not need for you to be nth person in my news feed re-posting the same article about Steve Jobs. New Rule: If you notice others posting the same crap as you then please go ahead and delete your original post. Its the least you can do.

• Commenting on a status update with garbage: Please stop adding to the spam on fb by replying to a post with a "lol", "hahahaha", or a "nice one". Facebook traffic would reduce by huge percentage if you did not add to an useless update with your inane junk. New Rule: This rule is actually an old one...if you have nothing useful to say, then don't say anything at all.