Beam me up, Scotty!

21 hours. Trapped in a metal tube, strapped to a seat. That's international air travel for you. If only the Wright Brothers knew what they would be unleashing. If only somebody had shown them the future of air travel: long flights, crappy food and full body searches.

I admit I hate air travel. The thought of being trapped in a metal can while I am forced to breathe the collective farts of a couple of hundred fellow inmates does not excite me. Add a couple of cranky kids to this potent mix and the nightmare is complete. Now, I understand all the benefits of air travel and I understand that there is no better alternative to travelling half way round the world but in my view the airline industry is taking me for granted.

Would it really hurt them to take out 6/7 rows of seats to give me 6/7 inches of extra legroom? Does the food have to be something that NASA would send up to the space station with the shuttle? What about those damn faucets in the restrooms? Can they not stay on while I have both my hands free? Do all these flights have to depart at 2 in the morning?

I am into the second week of my vacation and the one lingering thought, the gorilla in the room that I just cannot ignore, is the thought of the flight back home.